Self-Help for Rebels
When you want to be a better person, but you can’t handle being told what to do
Gretchen Rubin, in her book, The Four Tendencies, claims that everyone fits into one of four different categories. I don’t believe anyone’s personality can be reduced that simply. But, according to her framework, I’m a rebel and rebels don’t believe in tests like hers.
That’s the dilemma I’ve had my entire life. I love to learn, and I want to improve different aspects of my character. But, I can’t stand being told what to do.
I know I’m not the only one.
I had a difficult relationship with my father when he was alive. The fact that my instinct was to write “father”, instead of “dad” gives you a sense of our relationship.
But, the man did make the most accurate observation of my life philosophy of anyone who’s ever known me.
One night after my refusal to conform to something he wanted me to do, he said, “You know what your problem is? If you don’t think there’s a good reason for a rule, you just decide the rule doesn’t apply to you.”
I’m sure the comment was meant as a rebuke. I took it as a compliment.
That conversation happened when I was seventeen. I’m almost 43 now, and I still feel free to opt-out of senseless rules.
I’ve read hundreds of self-help books and articles. I’ve ghostwritten dozens of articles in this genre. But, almost all of the literature, including some of the articles I’ve ghosted, strike me as phony.
It’s not that the authors are frauds, although as a ghostwriter I was, it’s that I don’t believe there is one way to do anything.
Cut Your Own Path
Your life is different from mine. I’m a work-from-home-father. I know how hard it is to be the primary caretaker of several children while also trying to build a business from home. I live with an anxiety disorder. Those closest to me are not always supportive of my goals and lifestyle.
My experience isn’t universal.
I also love my life. I love helping businesses make more money by using my content to attract the right customers and clients. I love the freedom to set my own schedule. Most of all, I love that I get paid to write.
Some of that may resonate with you, and some of it may not. You may have even more extreme issues that I do.
I can’t tell you exactly what to do.
I can do three things.
I can share what has worked for me. It might give you some ideas that will work in your life. I can encourage you to keep going. All of us need more positivity in our lives. I can share my mistakes. I make a lot of them. If I can keep you from making some of the same mistakes, I will consider myself successful.
I don’t believe in life hacks. No magic to-do list tactic will change your life. I will never suggest getting up earlier will turn you into a productivity god.
But, I will keep encouraging you to find what works for you. The one thing I know for sure is that if you want to create a life you love, you are going to need to cut your own path.
Hopefully, I can make that task a little easier for you.
It’s time to get to work on creating a life you love!
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